


Spite and Malice

by Diabolical_Pink_Bunny



Series: Stargate: Atlantis. Season 6 [2]
Category: Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-19
Updated: 2014-07-25
Packaged: 2018-02-09 13:42:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 14,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1985091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diabolical_Pink_Bunny/pseuds/Diabolical_Pink_Bunny
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It is the evening before Atlantis was to hear from Todd about the super Hive-ship, and all is peaceful on Atlantis. The women are headed to the Athosian world for a belated stork party and the men are settling in for a game of Spite and Malice and some home-distilled moonshine. It is a peaceful time, but also a time of reflection.</p><p>Set at the end of season 5, it is a recap episode about the small, but important, changes Atlantis and her daughter Sitnalta had wrought.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> 1: I wish to thank Meagra Solace, sister, friend, writer and co-writer in Infinity R Us for allowing me to use the first scene.
> 
> 2: There really is a game called 'Spite and Malice.' A group of the size in the story would play with four decks. Two decks will be equally divided between the players. Those cards are stacked and the top one turned up. The objective of the game is to play all those cards – in your turn. But because everyone can see what card you need to play, they can take steps to prevent that: spite and malice.

John Sheppard was running. He had mere minutes to report to the control room, so he was trying to dress on the run. Putting on boots while trying to run was proving more difficult than he had imagined, though. That was probably why Woolsey was giving him some strange looks. The older man had joined up with John only a few seconds ago, when John had passed his room, just as Woolsey had stepped out of it.

"Normally I would have asked why you didn't finish dressing in your room," Woolsey began. John squinted at him. He had slung his P-90 over his shoulder, and now it bumped against his rear every step he took.

"But I'd rather you didn't," John finished.

Just then they rounded a corner and Rodney McKay stepped out of a room, also still adjusting his weapon. His tablet was already secured on his back.

Woolsey leaned over to John. "That isn't Doctor McKay's room," he quietly observed. But just then the lovely and exotic Sitnalta exited the room right behind Rodney. Unlike the scientist, she was neatly dressed. Only her hair was still loose, but she was already dividing it in two strands and braiding it into its usual style: two long braids falling down her back. "Oh," Woolsey finally managed. Then he looked at John. "I didn't know they were...umm..."

By now John had finally gotten his boots tied, so he had time to grin while Rodney and Sitnalta joined them on their way to the control room. "Everyone knows. McKay had been trying to get her to marry him, but she is set on a big wedding."

"I take it McKay doesn't want a big wedding, then?" Woolsey asked John: asking McKay would have been difficult, seeing as all of his attention was on helping Sitnalta with her hair. John was aware that – like all other women – Sitnalta was completely capable of doing her own hair. She just liked the power she had over her lover and thus milked him for every second of attention that she could.

"Perhaps in the beginning, but Cadman had given her some books," John mysteriously answered.

Woolsey considered this. He didn't know Laura Cadman that well, but she seemed to be a very sporty kind of person. "She gave Sitnalta books on explosives?" he ventured a guess.

John smiled. "No, worse: romance novels!"

The four of them finally reached the control room where Elisabeth Weir was waiting for them. These days she seldom slept, so it was not unusual to find her in the control room almost any time of the day. The IOA still did not allow her to return to earth. The nanites in her body had also wrought a change in her: the micro-machines were causing her hair to grow at a considerable pace. So now her hair fell almost all the way down her back – something that actually made her look incredibly vulnerable. Especially when John was in the vicinity. He still refused to trust her and he was aware this caused her immense grief.

As they entered the control room she turned around, her green eyes wide. Teyla, Ronon, Lorne and the rest of SGA-2 were already gathered in the gate-room. She looked at John for a moment, but by now she knew she would not get anything but distrust from him. So instead she focussed her attention on Woolsey, who were taking charge.

"The distress call came only minutes ago from M7G-677," she reported. Woolsey – who did not share John and the IOA's distrust in her – nodded.

"M7G-677 is one of the planets you have taken into your care?" he confirmed.

"Yeah, it's the planet with the kids," John acknowledged. Rodney grimaced. The kids seemed to take great pleasure in torturing him. And Radek Zelenka, if John remembered correctly. That was probably why the other scientist was smirking at him: Zelenka had been called to the control-room to oversee the mission, but he would not be joining them on the planet. He probably enjoyed the thought of Rodney being tortured by the little monsters. Softly Sitnalta slipped her hand into his, giving her lover her support.

Minutes later SGA-1 and 2 disappeared through the event horison. Though the kids' settlements were quite a few miles away from the gate, they could not take a puddle jumper as the same device that kept the planet Wraith-free also knocked out the jumper's controls. The two teams were in for a long walk.

#####

"Incoming wormhole!" Zelenka alerted the control-room. Seconds later the event horison was formed and the two teams stepped through the gate. Ronon was smiling, but the rest of them seemed unhappy.

"What happened?" Elisabeth asked even before Woolsey could utter a word.

"They wanted chocolate," an unhappy John answered. "We walked all that way to hear they had run out of chocolate."

"It's nearly a ten mile walk to the village!" Rodney complained.

"It was two of the smaller ones that sent the distress call, sir," Major Lorne tried to explain to the leader of the expedition. "And of course, after sending it they scampered back to their village."

"So you had to walk all the way," Zelenka – who was still in the control room – grinned.

"As I said before, it's nearly a ten mile walk to the nearest village," Rodney repeated.

"Except the kids were from the village near the river," Ronon grinned as he indicated the village the furthest from the gate. Those who had been to the planet knew the village near the river is just over twelve miles from the gate. No wonder the two teams seemed tired.

"I hope you have taken steps to keep this sort of thing from happening in the future," Woolsey said. Yet he seemed to be enjoying the moment, as well.

"Well, it's not as if we have drawn and quartered them," Rodney sarcastically replied.

"But we have stressed upon them the importance of not using the distress signal in such a fashion in future," Teyla said, always the peace-keeper.

"But we did promise them some chocolate as soon as possible," Sitnalta grinned. Life to her was still fresh and wonderful, and she lived every moment to its fullest. Her argument was that her life would be immeasurably short compared to that of Atlantis, but she was planning to have as much  _life_  lived in those years. Therefore life was too short to stay angry.

The best part was that it seemed as if this attitude seemed to be rubbing off on Rodney: though still difficult, he didn't wallow so much anymore.

It was then that John seem to notice that Elizabeth was not dressed in her normal uniform, but in a pale blue dress that actually resembled the clothes worn by the Ancients.

"Where are you off to?" John asked her. But it was Teyla that answered him.

"I am pleased that we are back in time to go to the Athosian planet for Torren's festival."

"That's tonight?" John asked, surprised. The Athosians had heard of the earth tradition of a baby shower, but because Teyla had been kidnapped and held hostage by Michael when she was pregnant, they had decided to hold it after his birth.

Of course, only the women were invited. So as the women scurried away to wash up and get dressed, the men suddenly found themselves – well – to themselves.

Slowly Ronon, John, Rodney and Lorne walked out of the control room. "So, what are the rest of you planning for the rest of the evening?" Rodney asked his friends.

"I might go to the gym," Ronon said.

"Maybe I'll join you," John said.

"I haven't planned anything," Lorne said. Silently they walked on. The evening suddenly seemed very long and boring.

"This is ridiculous," Rodney suddenly said, stopping. "We can't sulk just because the women are going out for the evening!"

"Well, what do you suggest?" John asked his friend.

"I don't know." Rodney replied.

"Hey, what are you up to?" a new voice suddenly asked behind them. One of the Becketts had just come around the corner, smiling. The Becketts almost always seemed to be smiling.

"Carson," Rodney said. He and Sitnalta were the only ones that were able to distinguish between the two Becketts. "The women are going to the planet for Torren's baby shower," he explained.

"Yes, I know," Carson replied. "Laura and Jennifer are going as well." He smiled. "I was wondering if I could interest you in a game of Spite and Malice," he said.

"Spite and Malice?" Ronon asked.

"Yes. Don't worry, you'll like it," Carson smiled. The rest of them looked at one another.

"It's not like we have anything else planned," Rodney finally decided for them.

That was how the men found themselves gathered in the conference room. Both Becketts had shown up with food and playing cards and were now busily showing them how the game worked. Radek had shown up with a few bottles of moonshine he had been fermenting in an abandoned lab: alcohol content unknown. They had considered inviting Woolsey, but in the end they had decided against it. They had also locked the doors to the conference room. This was going to be a long evening.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Spite and Malice:

At the beginning of each game a deck (or in this case, two decks) of cards is divided equally between all the players. The cards are then stacked face-down in front of you, with only the top one turned up. Then another deck (or two) is used to play the game. The goal is to be the first to play all the cards you were dealt with in the beginning. But because everyone knows what you needed to play your card, they can easily play their cards so you can't. Therefore: Spite and Malice.

Though it seems easy enough, the game is great fun and just the teensiest bit addictive. Especially after a few shots of Radek's moonshine. By now everybody around the conference table were a bit worse for wear. But the game continued.

At one end of the table Carson and Duncan Beckett were singing 'Danny Boy.' Gravity had proven a worthy adversary, therefore the two of them were leaning – as far as they know – against each other while trying to sing, play and drink at the same time. At the best of times men weren't designed to do three things at once, so by this time about the only thing they were doing well was the drinking. Neither one had touched their cards in four rounds; and had the rest of the men been in any condition to notice, they would have heard the two Becketts singing the song badly at the top of their lungs. They made the same mistakes at the same time, causing a cacophony unlike anything Atlantis has ever been subjected to.

#####

_Two Becketts. That was the crux of their existence. Carson was aware Sitnalta had probably saved his life two years ago when she had warned him about the explosive tumours in Houston and Watson. No wonder he had much to smile about. Of course another part of it was that he and Laura Cadman were now officially a couple. He had known she liked him, but he had wanted to take it slow – not to get involved with people he worked with. Unfortunately that was all there was: people he worked with. Besides, he had learned how fragile life was; especially out here in the Pegasus galaxy._

_And then they had found the other Carson Beckett._

_It was unsettling to look at another person and to see yourself. Some people thought it was like seeing a reflection, but it wasn't. No person's face is symmetrical, so the face you saw in the mirror was not the face everybody else saw. They saw your face; you saw a reflection of your face. Most people can go through life blissfully unaware of the difference. Perhaps models and actors know the difference – they usually knew quite a lot about their appearance – but the rest of the populace usually didn't even realise there_ was _a difference._

_But the other Beckett wasn't a reflection: it was_ he _. He was not a twin that had slight differences, nor a reflection. The other Beckett was_ exactly _the same and it was this distinction of sameness that was unsettling._

_Also: they shared the same memories. Well, the year between the other Beckett's creation and the day they found him differed, but the rest were the same. And once more the memories were exactly the same._

_No wonder it was unsettling. It would be, wouldn't it? And from the start the two of them were faced with the one important existential dilemma: did the clone have any right to the life of Carson Beckett? They were essentially the same person, only Carson got to be it first._

_No wonder the other Beckett had gone to work on different planets as soon as he could._

_Strange, it had been Laura that had pointed out to him that he was being unfair to the other Beckett. She had set him down one evening and talked to him at great length. It had not been a very pleasant evening, for sure. But she had said a number of things that he had needed to hear._

_First, she had pointed out to him – as others had, but she was_ very  _convincing – that it was nobody's fault. It was not like the other Beckett had chosen to exist. Second, from the start the other had insisted he was not going to live Carson's life. He had wanted to be himself, no matter what that cost._

_Last she had told him he was wasting a wonderful opportunity. Most people would love to find a long lost twin out there, and in many ways he had. He ought to give the other Beckett a chance._

_By that time people had started to call the other Beckett 'Duncan.' Duncan Beckett. Carson wasn't really sure why, but the other one seemed to like the idea of it._

_And so a tentative friendship had started between the two Becketts – as they were soon being called. But now, nearly a year later, that friendship had bloomed to a point where they were as close as any two brothers. Perhaps even closer: brothers often didn't understand one another, but the two Becketts understood perfectly why the other made certain choices._

#####

The song finally came to an end. Duncan hiccupped on the last note, but it seemed as if Carson hardly noticed. By now he had started on another round of 'Danny Boy.' Duncan joined him, but because of the hiccup was now a second behind Carson. It didn't matter. In two voices – the same voice – they continued their duet, sounding more like one man standing on a cliff; singing with his echo. It was a good thing no one else paid them any attention.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Actually Duncan did not even like 'Danny Boy.' Nor did Carson. But when two Scots got drunk together, it seemed like the right thing to sing. Perhaps it would just have been a little better if the two of them could remember the lyrics:

"Oh, Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling,

From glen to glen, and down the mountain side.

The summer's gone, and all the flowers are dying.

'Tis you, 'tis you mushroom and I will hide..."

#####

_Carson Beckett (II, but unaware at the time) had spent many months waiting for Atlantis to find him. He had heard the commotion outside his prison and known it was them._

_But he had not expected the looks of utter confusion on their faces when John, Rodney and Ronon had walked into his cell that day._

_Yet that was nothing compared to the shock of seeing himself face-to-face for the first time. Rodney had tried to explain to him that they had not been looking for him, seeing as he wasn't missing. Seeing Carson Beckett – the real one – had not been something anybody could have prepared him for. In his mind_ he _was Carson Beckett,_ he  _was the real person._

_The pretty new doctor, Jennifer Keller, had been the one to take the time in finding the truth. She had been the one who told him he was definitely a clone._

_A clone! Pigs and sheep and ants were things to clone, not humans. Yet here he was. And whenever he felt like it must all be a bad dream, he only had to go find Carson – the real Carson – to know the truth._

_That was why he had insisted from the start that he would not even try and be the original Carson. He knew there was no way to compete._

_Soon after they had stuck him in that fridge – sorry, stasis pod – and for one terrible moment he had thought they were just getting rid of him. What use did they have for him? Carson Beckett, the doctor, was already there, living his life. To help him he had Doctor Keller. Why would they want another Beckett? Another doctor?_

_Jennifer Keller had promised him she would not give up on finding a cure for him, on getting him out of the pod. He had not known then that when she gives her word, she would do anything to keep it._

_She had been the one to awaken him, to tell him they might have found a cure. Three months have passed, three months that had been tiring and difficult for her. No amount of words could have expressed how he had felt about her in that moment. She had been an angel sent to bring him back to life._

_No wonder he had fallen for her. But having her fall for him had been much more difficult._

_Another two surprises that had awaited him – aside from the abundance of new enemies Atlantis has made – was those regarding Elisabeth Weir and Sitnalta._

_They told him about Elisabeth's accident. Rodney explained how she had been saved by the nanites. And how John still refused to give her the time of day. The last part was the worst, seeing as he had always suspected John and Elisabeth to be close._

_And then there was Sitnalta. She fascinated him on a level few could understand. She, too, was a clone: a clone of the city herself! Yet this had never stopped her from trying to find her own voice, her own life. As he now had to find his own place in life._

_It had been John that had dubbed him 'Duncan.' It was a tribute to the 'Highlander' show and Beckett did not mind. In fact, he fully embraced the name. If he was Duncan Beckett, then he was not Carson Beckett anymore. With just that simple change in his life, he could take control of it again._

_So he had chosen to go to any planet that needed his help. He had not really expected to return to Atlantis after that._

_But it had been Jennifer Keller that had changed that eventually. For some reason she had seen something in him that had fascinated her. Perhaps in the beginning it had been the fact that he was a medical anomaly. Or maybe it had something to do with the fact that she had spent so much time working on a way to get him out of that stasis pod. Either way, he had only been on P7R-443 for a few weeks before her first visit. Then she had told him it was only to check on him, to make sure he was still doing okay. But she had returned only two weeks later – two days after he had been on Atlantis for a check-up._

_Soon her visits had become a weekly thing, something he looked forward to every week. And by now he would visit her on Atlantis as often as he could. Had it not been for the fact that the villages he were in were often far from the gate, he would have tried sleeping on Atlantis and going to work every day._

_The situation concerning Carson had been more complicated. He understood why Carson had shunned him at first: he had felt the same thing. Every time he looked at Carson he was reminded of everything he would never be; everything he had lost. He even wondered if he would ever see Scotland again._

_Then Carson had come to visit him instead of Jennifer. Carson had decided to give him a chance. In fact, by now they were good friends and it had even been Carson that had invited him for the game of Spite and Malice – partly because he had wanted him there, but also partly because the two Becketts were the only ones who actually knew how to play the game._

_So now Atlantis had two Becketts: one working on the city and one working everywhere else. People still had trouble distinguishing between the two of them, but they accepted them both in stride. Living in the Pegasus galaxy did make many stories that seemed impossible believable._

_Considering all else, life was precious and lovely._

_#####_

"And I shall hear, you soft and great and love me,

And all my dreams will warm and sweeter be,

If you'll not fail to tell me that you love me.

I'll simply sleep in peace until you come to me."


	4. Chapter 4

Obviously the two Becketts thought they were leaning against each other, but somehow Radek Zelenka had insinuated himself between them. So now he was held upright by the combined power of the two Becketts, happily singing along. Unfortunately he was not singing the same song as Carson and Duncan, but rather some kind of Czech song. Nobody knew what the man was singing, but he seemed to be enjoying it. It was doubtful, though, if he was even aware he and the Becketts were singing two different songs.

#####

_Years ago Radek Zelenka had made peace with the fact that he would never be a great catch – though he wasn't, he appeared small. He was also smart and geeky. And not very attractive. So he had spent all his energy on studying. He was good at learning and his knowledge of Ancient technology was only surpassed by Rodney McKay – a fact Rodney mentioned at least twice a week. Yet Zelenka did not mind. Had he been the best, he would have had McKay's job, and that was just too stressful for him. As second best he got to stay home (on Atlantis) and do the nice work with no stress about saving the day on a daily base. Nor did McKay worry him anymore. In fact, for a while there Radek had thought his life was as neat and wonderful as it was going to get._

_Then he met Major Anne Teldy._

_About six months ago Anne Teldy and her all-female team met with a little accident, and their scientist, Doctor Alison Porter, had broken her wrist. When Woolsey had sent out the team on another mission, though, Teldy had requested Radek to join the team, claiming that next to Porter, he was the best._

_The best at what, he had wanted to ask. He knew he was not too good with off-world missions. He really did prefer staying on Atlantis._

_Woolsey had thought it was a good idea. Woolsey had thought getting out would be beneficial to Radek. Woolsey had thought it might broaden his horizons._

_Woolsey can be very strange, sometimes._

_Sitnalta, who he had turned to, to help defend his case, had agreed with Woolsey._

_Sitnalta can be very strange as well._

_So Radek had reluctantly joined Major Teldy and her female team. Radek had known from the start it was going to be disastrous. And it had been. The moment they had stepped through the gate, they had been ambushed by the Wraith. His feet still tingled at the thought of being shot by a Wraith stunner._

_Not much later the four of them had woken up in a Wraith holding cell. Why they had thought to put them there instead of in feeding pods were soon apparent: like most other Wraith they hoped to torture anybody they thought were from Atlantis in the hopes the captives will divulge the location of the city._

_Unfortunately for the Wraith, they had thought one of the women in the team would be the weakest link, leaving Radek behind in the cell. Radek might be seemingly small and timid, but he was not stupid. Nor was he unprepared. These days Rodney and the rest of the scientists might go off-world bearing arms, but Radek was not one of those gun-ho types. What he was, was smart. Perhaps not as intelligent as McKay, but smarter. He knew how to plan ahead. And he had taken some advice from Ronon and hidden a few pieces of needed equipment where the Wraith was not likely to find and remove it._

_The moment the Wraith left with Sergeant Dusty Mehra between them, he set to work, removing equipment from his person. Five minutes later he had assembled a rudimentary computer. He looked at Teldy._

" _If I promise to get us out of this cell, you promise not to bring me along on another mission?" he demanded._

_She smiled at him, but it wasn't a nice smile. "Sure," she replied. Then he set to work on the computer. With the scalpel he had brought along he cut into the cell wall, exposing the living energy conduits underneath. Careful not to damage them, he attached two sets of wires. Then he started typing._

" _Why do you do that?" Anne Teldy suddenly asked._

" _Well," he said, typing as he explained, "if I can interrupt the correct pathway in the conduits, I will be able to short out the locking..."_

" _No," she interrupted. "I mean, why do you mutter under your breath like that?"_

_This finally caught his attention. "I don't mutter," he said, looking at the grinning woman. He suddenly realised she was very beautiful. The kind of beautiful that always left him tongue-tied and awkward._

_The kind of beautiful that he could never hope to be close to. Especially not when the beautiful woman was also a strong, young marine with a butt-kick attitude and a big gun she knew how to use._

" _Yes, you do. And in Czech, for that matter."_

" _Oh," he said, unable to think of anything else. So he set to work once more and ten minutes later the webbed door slid open. Instantly Teldy and Vega ran into the corridor, leaving Radek all alone in the cell. He knew he was going to have to leave the computer behind, but he hated having to do so. Yet he had no choice._

_He followed the women, hoping they would not meet up with any Wraith. Fortunately Teldy had thought to hide a life signs reader and now used that to navigate the corridors._

_From there on the escape was both easy and frightening. Teldy and Vega actually overwhelmed a Wraith guard, took his weapon and rescued Mehra from where the big-shot Wraith was trying to intimidate her. Mehra turned out to be a very angry person and she had no qualms about kicking a Wraith when he was down – literally._

" _That is not normal," he exclaimed as she assaulted the Wraith, referring to her anger, not the beating she was giving the alien._

_Taking their cue from Sheppard, the women continued to steal a Wraith dart and while Radek, Vega and Mehra were suspended inside the hold, Teldy made their escape with it._

_Zelenka had thought that would be the end of it. Woolsey had agreed he would not be accompanying the team again soon in the future. So Radek had gone back to his lab and everything familiar, never once considering seeing Teldy again anytime soon._

_So it came as quite a shock when he went back to his room that night to find Teldy waiting for him – a Teldy he had never thought he would encounter._

_She had broken into his room and lighted dozens of candles. She, herself, had dressed in a very pretty – and very tiny – dress and was waiting for him at the window where the setting sun could bathe her in a deep golden glow. It turned out that she had decided she liked Radek. He was smart and very determined, and she thought he was very cute._

_He never had a chance. There are people in this world strong enough to resist a temptation like that, but Radek Zelenka was not one of them._

#####

The peculiar part was that Anne had really learned to love the scientist. What had started out as a bit of fun had turned into a full-fledged affair that was still going strong. The song Zelenka was singing was an old folk-song – like those found one way or another in most cultures – about the pretty woman he had the pleasure to call his.

Radek Zelenka had never been happier in all his life.


	5. Chapter 5

Ronon Dex was not exactly what one would call a connoisseur of fine art, but he did have some taste. And the cat-chorus was not it. Of course, along with his taste in music came his way of showing his criticism. In this case it was straightforward and potentially lethal: for the past half hour or so he had been shooting at the Becketts and Radek. Unfortunately – or fortunately, depending on your point of view – the moonshine had interfered with his aim. Behind the three singers and to either side – often  _very_  to the side – were numerous dark scorched marks against the conference-room walls.

Though intermittently under fire, the three singers seemed pleasantly unaware of the music critic in their midst. The rest of the Spite and Malice players seemed unaware, as well. And Ronon really was enjoying himself.

#####

_Ronon knew he had been keeping to himself, and for the most part this did not bother him. SGA-1 and a small number of others on Atlantis were as close to family as he was probably going to get again in this life. Yet he knew that even as part of that family, he never fully opened up to them. Much of himself he still kept hidden._

_But recently he had discovered that there was one woman whom he would like to open up to. Unfortunately she was the one woman in the entire galaxy – two galaxies, actually – with which he had no chance whatsoever._

_The problem was thus: she was beautiful, loyal, honourable and wise. And already with someone else. Of course, being the person she was, she was not the type to betray that commitment._

_It had started a few months ago. One afternoon, over lunch, McKay had told Sitnalta about their trip to Dagan. He shouldn't have, really. No man ever tells a woman he lost a ZPM because he was flattered by another woman's attention. Sitnalta had then told McKay – loud enough for everyone in the mess-hall to hear – just what she thought of his intelligence. And Sitnalta being Sitnalta – and McKay being McKay – nobody had interfered with the argument. Except Elisabeth Weir. Ronon had great respect for her courage, bravery and wisdom. Then again, trying to break up a fight between McKay and Sitnalta might also be construed as foolishness, yet she had managed to do so._

_With the result that Weir had asked Ronon, Sheppard and Teyla to accompany Sitnalta to the Dagan planet and to try and retrieve the ZPM. Or the 'petentium,' as the inhabitants called it. Apparently they had taken the artefact – ZPM – back and hidden it after McKay had told them the Atlantis team was not related to the Ancients. Of course, that was why Sitnalta had freaked out: the gist of her argument against McKay's intelligence was that obviously he had never heard of 'genetics.' If Sheppard had the ATA gene, it only stood to reason he was a descendant of the Ancients. So why the bloody hell (she had spent a number of hours with the Becketts earlier that week) did McKay tell them they were unrelated to the people who had built Atlantis. Had he (Rodney) never heard of bloody genetics?_

_Well, bloody genetics just might be to blame why the four of them – Ronon, Teyla, Sheppard and Sitnalta – had ended up going back to Dagan. McKay would have joined them, but Sitnalta had told him he would bloody hell stay behind, as he only seemed to make a mess of things._

_At that stage Ronon had thought him extremely lucky not to have been the one picked by Sitnalta as lover. Women only complicated matters._

_He should not have tempted fate._

_Two hours later they had been back on Dagan, this time dressed as Sitnalta had instructed. Well, the rest were. Ronon had not been willing to dress up to placate the Daganians. But he had to admit the women looked stunning in their flowing white robes. So that was how the Ancients had looked like._

_The Daganians never had a chance at resistance. Sitnalta had coached the four of them well and they had masterfully played their parts. Especially Teyla._

_The plan had worked thus:_

_When they had arrived on Dagan, the four of them had walked slowly and serenely to the temple where the Daganian scholars lived. Sitnalta had queenly announced she wished to speak to whoever had been responsible for denying her the 'petentium' years ago. Half an hour later a woman named Seilan appeared. Sitnalta had demanded the return of the 'petentium' of her. Of course the woman had balked at the command. That was when Teyla had stepped in – as planned._

_The young Athosian woman had delicately stepped forward and with her soft voice explained the situation to the Daganian woman. For almost an hour she had talked to Seilan while Sitnalta ignored them and the two men tried to look as fierce as possible._

_Teyla explained that indeed, the 'petentium' belonged to the white-haired woman, as she is not only gifted with the genetic make-up of the Ancients; she is also the embodiment of them. And then Teyla masterfully finished with the truth about Sitnalta's heritage: Sitnalta_ is _Atlantis, the city of the Ancients._

_During the talks both Ronon and Sheppard had been uncomfortable and frustrated. Especially Sheppard. But somewhere during her performance, Ronon had found himself fascinated by Teyla. It was almost as if she knew beforehand exactly what was required to soothe and convince Seilan. If Seilan became angry, Teyla would soothe her worries. Whenever Seilan tried to invoke her ancient pledge, Teyla would accuse her of breaking them by denying Sitnalta the ZPM. And when Seilan tried to turn and walk away, Teyla crushed her resistance with the truth in that soft yet determined tone of voice she used whenever Teyla thought someone was being an idiot._

_It seemed Teyla used that tone often._

_But what fascinated him the most was her self-control. Teyla could probably have single-handedly defeated every warrior on Dagan in hand-to-hand combat, yet she stood there in front of Seilan, as delicate and feminine as any queen. She never once tried to enforce the talks with violence or any reference to her own training. Had it been up to Ronon, he would have shot every one of the Daganians – just because they annoyed him. Never Teyla. She was as strong-willed and feminine as she was physically strong._

_And beautiful._

_It was in that moment – when that thought crossed his mind – that Ronon had realised his problem. He was incredibly attracted to her, but she seemed to be loyal to Kanaan._

_Besides, should he ever try and interfere with her and Kanaan's relationship – or tell her how he felt – she would kick his ass. She was completely capable of doing so if needed._

_Bloody hell._

_All the way back to the stargate (with the ZPM), Ronon pondered this situation. By the time they were back on Atlantis, he was completely confused. He had thought he would never feel this way about another woman – another person – again, yet now he had fallen for the only woman he could never have. Added to this quandary was the fact that he was aware that Teyla and Kanaan were not happy together. The Athosian male was still a bit strange and Teyla always seemed uncomfortable around him. It seemed as if they only stayed together for the sake of Torren._

_Which was the other thing: how could one compete with the father of her child?_

_No wonder Ronon had been moody these past few months. He had decided not to show any of his conflicting feelings about Teyla – especially to her – but the only way to do so was to try and feel something else. Which usually ended up with him feeling angry at everyone. As it is he had already shot McKay once when the man had not even been that annoying._

_Bloody hell._

#####

It suddenly occurred to Ronon that his weapon was not set on 'stun.' Had he hit either one of the three aggravators, he would have killed them. So carefully he took another swig of moonshine and then reset his weapon to a less lethal setting. Now he would only stun a person if he shot him, not kill him.

He looked at his cards again, and decided now was as good a time as any to play the joker that lay on the top of his deck. The next card was a king, which he could instantly play on top of the joker. But the card turned up after the king was another king. He was never going to play that, he just knew. So he took out his gun and shot it. Perhaps there was something more interesting underneath.

 


	6. Chapter 6

Teyla Emmagan was immensely relieved that the baby shower had been such a success. Sometimes Sitnalta's desire to live every day to its fullest could get out of hand. This shower could have been one of those occasions. When the young woman had accompanied Teyla to the Athosian planet a few months ago, it had been she who had suggested to the Athosian women to throw Teyla the party.

Of course, the party had not resembled the earth tradition in any way, but that bothered neither the Athosians nor Sitnalta. All the women – including Teyla and the rest from Atlantis – had thoroughly enjoyed themselves. The children had spent several hours among the adults, braiding the women's hair. The children had been especially fascinated by Sitnalta and Doctor Weir's hair: both women's hair fell way down their backs. In fact, now with the number of braids – adorned with glittering beads – the two women made a striking pair: one delicately white and the other darker but somehow just as fragile-looking.

Torren made a little burping sound in his sleep and she cooed at him, momentarily distracted. A number of beaded braids fell over her shoulder and rattled softly. The Atlantis-group would reach the stargate within a few minutes, but before then she needed to talk to Weir. She knew her the best, and perhaps she could help Teyla with the problem that had been nagging at her for a few months now. So Teyla fell back a little and waited for Weir. The vanguard of the group – Jennifer Keller, Sitnalta and Laura Cadman – continued on, still discussing the evening. Moments later Teyla fell into step next to the older woman.

"Teyla," Elisabeth Weir said, always proper.

"Doctor Weir, can I talk to you for a moment?" Teyla asked.

"Certainly," Weir smiled. "How can I help you?"

Teyla was by nature direct and confident. Yet now she felt she had trouble looking directly at Weir.

"I...how do one deal with a friend who suddenly sees you as more than a friend?" she asked.

Weir did not answer immediately, and Teyla felt Weir's eyes on her. Fortunately Torren made another sound and she could coo at him, therefore she needn't look at Weir.

"I suppose you need to ask yourself whether you feel the same way about him," the dark-haired woman began. "Teyla, are we talking about Ronon?"

This made Teyla look at Weir, frowning. "I was not aware it was that noticeable," she said, a bit huffy. Weir smiled.

"I doubt if anybody else knows. But I happened to see the two of you together yesterday."

"Yesterday...yes," Teyla sighed. She had noticed the change in the big Satedan perhaps the same moment Ronon had realised his feelings for her. It had been on the Dagan planet and she had been dressed in that ridiculous light blue dress Sitnalta had insisted she wear. Okay, so the ploy had worked. But she had hardly been able to complete the negotiations after she had turned around that one moment and seen Ronon's face. He must not have been aware of his expression, for he was mostly not a man who expressed anything except a wild glee in battle. Yet that one moment she had seen the way he felt about her. And it still unnerved her.

Then yesterday she and Ronon had suddenly found themselves alone at the table in the mess-hall. Moments earlier John and McKay had been there with them, but then the two men had gotten up. And Teyla and Ronon had been left alone with suddenly nothing to say. Like two teenagers they had sat there, hardly eating, but not knowing how to excuse themselves from the table.

"You witnessed that," Teyla continued. Then she sighed. "I am not sure," she finally replied to Weir's question.

"I thought you were happy with Kanaan," Weir said. Teyla knew it was not an intrusive question. With some of the others it might have been, but Weir was just trying to lead her through all the options until they could find the answer together.

"I, too, thought I was happy with Kanaan. And I still love him. It is just..." Words failed her as she did not know how to explain it even to herself. She really loved Kanaan, but her love had changed somehow. She knew much of this had to do with the fact that ever since his incarceration by Michael, Kanaan was not the same. He was still gentle and strong, but many things had changed. "I often find myself looking at him, wondering where the man I had fallen in love with had gone," she finished.

"You are in love with the Kanaan you had known in the beginning?" Weir prompted. Though they were trekking through the woods in the dark of night, a dozen or so Athosian children were with them, each carrying a lamp to light the way. Laughter and the smell of cookies and flowers surrounded them with every step.

"Perhaps," Teyla agreed. "It often seems as if a fire in him has died. And I wish I knew how to relight that fire." She frowned. "But I am no longer sure I am the one that can do that."

"And does that make you feel guilty?" Weir continued with her questions. Teyla sometimes wondered at the secrets within the other woman's heart. They all trusted her and respected her as before, but something had made Weir close off part of herself to all of them. Teyla could guess at some of it – they all could. But the truth was still a mystery.

But now her own troubles – her own mystery – beckoned. She loved Kanaan, but it was true, he had changed. Well, she had changed as well. She said as much now, and then added:

"Change can bring people together, but too often it drives people apart. I have seen this happen on many an occasion." She touched Torren's soft downy head cradled near her heart. "I have just always thought I would be one to grow closer to another through change, not apart."

The look in Weir's eyes were haunted as she looked away. "We all think that." Again Teyla wondered at her secrets and how deep they went. "Tell me this," she suddenly said, looking back, the expression gone. "If Kanaan had not been an issue, would you have encouraged Ronon?"

"But now Kanaan is part of the issue," Teyla instantly replied, a bit snappy. She instantly regretted it, though. "Forgive me. I did not mean to talk so," she apologised.

Weir smiled a bit wryly. "Matters of the heart can be very frustrating."

"Yes, they can be." Just then Sitnalta and Cadman joined them, and the conversation changed. But Teyla hardly joined in the talk. Her thoughts were on the other side of the galaxy, torn between the man whom she had once loved, and the man whom she could easily love. Weir was right, matters of the heart can be very frustrating.

 


	7. Chapter 7

Sitnalta had thoroughly enjoyed herself this evening. The Athosians were extremely hospitable and it was obvious they loved Teyla. But the thing that had intrigued her the most had been the children. As Atlantis she had spent countless millennia observing the phenomenon of procreation. Yet she had very little experience with children.

Those entrusted with the running of Atlantis were invariably adults. As the children had always been kept apart in the residential areas, they had stayed out of her experience. So it was not surprising that she was completely fascinated by Torren. Well, Torren John. She stole a glance at Doctor Elisabeth. Sitnalta was aware people underestimated her intelligence and maturity. The body she was created in seemed to be like that of a human female of about twenty-one. And in her desire to live every moment to the fullest, she often acted younger than the rest of SGA-1 or the scientists. As far as she was concerned the marines never really grew up. But though she might appear young, she was in fact ancient. She also saw everything around her and was able to interpret even the slightest nuances and gestures of her surroundings. Therefore she was aware of the crisis between Doctor Elisabeth and Colonel John – perhaps even more so than they were.

She was also aware that a number of people wondered about Colonel John and Teyla – especially because Teyla named her son after him. Well, she was aware that was just stupid speculation. Instead she had seen the friction between Specialist Ronon and Teyla, and it was this that intrigued her. Could those two have developed deeper feelings for one another? It seemed like it. Then the next question was: were they ever going to do something about it?

She grinned. She would give them – Specialist Ronon and Teyla as well as Doctor Elisabeth and Colonel John – another few months. But after that she was going to have to do something about it. She hated the fact that the people around her wasn't as happy as they should be.

Of course it did help that she had some extra information about people that the rest of them didn't: every time someone used the transporters within Atlantis, a complete bio-molecular scan was done (how else was Atlantis to reassemble them on the other end?), as well as a neural transfer. Though she respected people's boundaries, she often felt the need to help those who are sad. It was just sometimes difficult to know how much she could do and how much she needed to leave to them to figure out for themselves.

They were nearing the enclosed clearing where the stargate stood. Enclosed clearing: strange description. But it was true: the gate stood within a clearing. But the trees had grown so high around it that the branches had formed a canopy over the clearing. As far as Sitnalta was concerned, it was the most beautiful sight in the galaxy when this gate activated and drenched the clearing with the pale blue light of the event-horison.

She wondered if she could get the Athosians to plant some flowers around the gate. Then she frowned: how long would it take her to convince Woolsey to let her place flower-pots around the Atlantis-gate? Often in the history of Atlantis had the city been decorated with millions of plants – including the gateroom.

Suddenly Torren gave a small squeak and the whole group came to a halt as Teyla sat down to feed him. One of the children had given her a lovely blanket, which the Athosian woman now used to shield everyone's view of the baby at her breast. Yet Sitnalta was still fascinated. She wondered if she would ever have the opportunity to hold and feed her own child. She had never even discussed the issue with Rodney. Or either one of the Becketts or Doctor Jennifer, for that matter. She did not even know if her body was able to conceive. She would have to ask one of the doctors the next time she went for a physical.

By now a number of the children had taken the opportunity to play a game in which they chased each other. One of the small ones bumped into her, and she decided to give chase. What use was the body of a young woman if one did not use it? As she ran with the children, she had time to wonder what Rodney was doing.

#####

What Rodney was doing right at that moment was something that would have made Sitnalta yell at him if she knew. When she returned she probably  _was_  going to yell at him anyway, he knew. And he had just enough presence of mind left to try and convince his co-players that the women was not going to be impressed when they got back. Not all of them might have someone, but enough of them did so that Rodney was getting worried. Anne Teldy  _was_  going to scream at Radek. Jennifer would put her hands on her hips and look at Duncan with a sad expression that would make the Doctor feel like a worm. Laura Cadman was probably also going to yell at Carson. And Elisabeth was going to give John that sad, pained look that Sitnalta had learned to do as well.

Sitnalta...yes, she was going to give him that look. And later she might yell at him; he was never sure, though. She liked to keep him off balance.

That was why he was trying his best to convince his friends they needed to get some coffee and sober up before the women returned. But they did not seem to pay him any attention, though. In fact, Ronon leaned over slightly and poured Rodney another shot of moonshine.

What Rodney obviously did not realise, was that for some reason he was speaking French. And though his friends were not complete idiots, they did not understand French. But then again, had they realised he was speaking French while glaring at his cards, they probably wouldn't even have bothered telling him. The night had progressed to that stage where nobody cared. In fact, most of them hardly played the game in any coherent fashion anymore. Except Rodney. Though he was as drunk as a skunk, Rodney still had the ability – probably due to his incredible competitiveness – to play the game and win more often than not.

Not that Sitnalta was going to be impressed with him. Through his alcohol-induced daze he wondered how he was going to explain all of this to her.

 


	8. Chapter 8

Elisabeth Weir sat down on a tree that had fallen over, looking at the world around her. Teyla was smiling faintly as she nursed Torren. Sitnalta was running around with the children, and Jennifer Keller and Laura Cadman were on the verge of joining the fun. Anne Teldy took herself a bit too seriously, so she stood to one side, smiling indulgently.

Elisabeth leaned back against the stump and looked at the brilliant night sky. The beads in her hair clattered softly as she moved. She missed her short hair – for a start it was much easier to maintain – but for now she had an aversion inside her to the idea of cutting it. She had thought for a while that it was due to the nanites. They had proven able to change one's perceptions. Yet Sitnalta assured her the nanites were now completely harmless. As the young woman had told her: "Think of them not as Replicator-nanites, but as Weir-nanites." Then the young woman had grinned: "I know it's a doozy, love, but you can trust me," she had said in a perfect mimic of the Becketts' accent.

So why the feeling that her long hair had a purpose? Perhaps it had something to do with the feeling that everything had changed: that she had changed and that she was never going to be the same person she had been. Her changed appearance was thus part of that feeling of change – of alienation.

And yet, as much as she replayed those days in her head, she could find no way in which things could have been different. Perhaps without Sitnalta it would have been even worse.

#####

_The explosion had caused the glass to burst. Elisabeth knew that a concussion caused one to forget the moments just before the impact on the head, yet often in her dreams she would see the rainbow of glass bursting; flying at her. She would raise her arms, but the force of the shockwave flings her backwards and into darkness._

_The next thing she knew she was waking up in the infirmary. As she sat up Rodney, John, Ronon and Jennifer had entered the blue-lighted room. They looked as confused as she did. All except John. He had looked furious: furious enough to immediately order her into quarantine. Jennifer had been forced to examine her in a bio-hazard suit._

" _They shouldn't have done this," she told Teyla, also garbed in a suit. She was aware she would have died without the treatment, yet even then she had been more concerned with the safety of Atlantis than her own life. Also she dreaded the idea of the Replicator-nanites trying to take over her mind as it had only a short while earlier. No, it had been a bad idea; they should have let her die._

_But time had not allowed any of them the luxury of discussing the issue. By the time she had come to the conclusion she would prefer it if they turned off the nanites, Rodney and Radek had already cooked up a new idea that was both reckless and brilliant. That seemed to be the way those two thought: though science geeks, their minds worked on the outer edges of comfortable. And their ideas were always just as uncomfortable; just as dangerous. This time they had the idea of giving one of the puddle jumpers a hyper-drive and to raid the Replicator homeworld of a ZPM._

_She had known she needed to accompany them, and it had been a good thing she had. What nobody had counted on was Sitnalta joining the mission, as well. Rodney had grumbled about it, but she had noticed before that the scientist's will usually crumbles before the even more obstinate will of Sitnalta. In all honesty, for all intents and purposes Sitnalta had been raised by those on Atlantis: John with his cynicism and pig-headedness, Ronon who never argued, but only stood unmovable once he had decided on a course of action, Teyla with her calm determination and even Elisabeth self, who knew she could be difficult when pushed. No wonder Rodney never had a chance._

_And of course, though everyone knew Sitnalta had knowledge of Ancient technology, they never even considered that she knew anything of Replicator tech. And Sitnalta never told anyone, either. The young woman seemed to like the idea of letting Rodney and Zelenka take the lead; only joining in when she could improve on their plans._

_So when the shield had failed during the raid she had simply disappeared into the back of the jumper. Elisabeth had not given the blonde woman much consideration, though. Instead she had gone into the city and kept Oberoth at bay._

_Unfortunately Oberoth was strong, and he had overpowered her in the end. As she had stood, surrounded by Replicators and watching John, Ronan and Rodney disappear, she had expected to finally die. Instead the world had suddenly turned black around her._

_When she came to, she was back in the infirmary. A worried Beckett and Jennifer had stood on one side of her bed; a belligerent Sitnalta and an angry John on the other side. Though Elisabeth had tried to insist they tell her what was going on, they had continued their argument over and around her. From the sound of it, it had been going on for some time. Eventually she had managed to piece together most of what had happened and why they were arguing._

_Back on the Replicator homeworld Sitnalta had reactivated the shield – the one that disassembled the Replicators. But because she knew more about the nanites than Rodney (to his chagrin), she had been able to modify the shield to a frequency that the Replicators had not adapted to yet. The beam had disassembled all the nanites, including Elisabeth's. Then Sitnalta had promptly informed SGA-1 to get her (Elisabeth) and to hurry up and get their arses back in the jumper._

_Back on Atlantis, the young woman had insisted Jennifer and Carson inject Elisabeth with more nanites, and then ordered them to "get the bloody hell away," she had work to do. Sitnalta can be_ very _difficult._

_Then she had set to work on the nanites, rewriting them completely into what she would later call Weir-nanites. Unfortunately John had not been convinced, though. He had stormed into the infirmary with Carson and Jennifer training behind him and told Sitnalta to shut down the nanites. That was about the time Elisabeth had woken – right in the middle of Sitnalta telling John he was an arse (the young woman spent absolutely too much time picking up bad habits) and that he could go jump off the east pier for all she cared. As far as she was concerned, Elisabeth was a friend and friends helped friends – no matter what. Though she had not thought the exchange amusing then, Elisabeth had often smiled afterwards. She was quite sure John had even considered jumping off the pier just to get away from Sitnalta!_

_And so Elisabeth had re-joined the Atlantis-team. Unfortunately things had changed even more than she could have guessed back then._

_The first thing that was different was the attitude of the rest of Atlantis towards her. Those first few weeks had been terrible. Many had looked at her with pure distrust, especially John. It had been a long and painful process to win back the trust and respect of the team._

_Another thing had been the sudden change in herself. It had not been that noticeable in the beginning, but she soon realised her body needed less sleep than anyone else's. At first she had attributed her sleeplessness to her desire to be useful again. But after a week she had to admit she had changed – part of her was now like the Replicators and didn't need any sleep._

_Then there had been the attitude of the IOA. They flatly refused to trust her (even now) and had sent another to replace her as leader of the Atlantis team. Unfortunately the same distrust kept her prisoner on board Atlantis. The IOA had officially pronounced her dead and told her that though she would not be put off Atlantis; she was never again welcome on earth. So now Atlantis had become her permanent home. That would have been fine, if it wasn't that it also felt like her prison at times._

_But the worst part had been John. Even now he looked at her suspiciously. At first he had just been careful around her, but his attitude had soon turned sour on her. Now he shunned her as much as possible. The others had tried to talk to him about it, but he remained obstinate._

_Perhaps he was correct, though. Perhaps she could not be trusted anymore._

_The next problem had been Samantha Carter. SGC had sent her as leader of Atlantis, and from the start things had gone wrong between the two women. The irony was that the two of them were much alike._

_The problem was that many of the Atlantis team – especially the scientists – still waited until Elisabeth approved of a plan. The military personnel referred to Carter, and though both women insisted everyone should consider Sam as leader, many of the military people would still glance first at Elisabeth._

_Of course it did not help that there was now no specific purpose for her. Not so long ago Elisabeth had been leader of the community, now she had nothing to offer them. Yet she trusted Sitnalta. Therefore she had never even considered leaving Atlantis and stepping through the stargate to an empty planet._

_In time everyone had found their balance, though. Elisabeth was now mostly unofficially second in command (something that Carter found easy to live with, but which had grated on Woolsey's nerves for a long time). This had freed Carter to join many of the off-world missions (or as Sitnalta had once pointed out: an off-off-world mission, seeing as Atlantis was already off-world from earth – and now even off its own world), as well as Teyla, who had often been asked to look after the city while everyone was away. This seemed fine by everyone._

_Woolsey had taken it a bit differently, especially as nobody had ever let on to the IOA that she took such an active role in the city again. That he had been pissed was to say the least. Yet even he had never let on to the IOA that she was still active. The man was truly an enigma at times. And over time the two of them had formed a formidable team. As she was a civilian like him, he had started coming to her with some of his frustrations with the military personnel, as well as the implications of some of his decisions. In turn she had been able to argue with him and soothe his conscious at ignoring the rules of the IOA. By now she fulfilled the role as second in command, as well as advisor to Woolsey._

_And to be honest, though she missed being in command, it was liberating not to be the one who had to worry about earth and the IOA._

_It was only John that still looked at her and saw the enemy within._

#####

As she looked at the stars, a sudden memory flashed through her mind. It had been when they had been about a year in the Pegasus galaxy. They had been awaiting three Wraith hive ships and their escort of cruisers and darts. In desperation John had taken one of the nuclear weapons she had negotiated from the Genii, put it on a puddle jumper and flown off towards the ship in a suicide run in an attempt to destroy a hive ship. Fortunately Caldwell and the  _Daedalus_  had arrived in the nick of time and beamed him out. When the hive ships had been destroyed, John had been beamed into the gateroom, in front of the gate. It was that moment that now played itself off in her mind: John had called out in a joke "honey, I'm home." Though she had by then known he was safe for a few minutes, she was still relieved to see him. She had thought they had lost him.

No, she had thought  _she_  had lost him. The relief she had felt when he had turned around had been like nothing she had felt before. And when he had turned and seen her, the look on his face had made her heart leap. Yes, she had denied it for a long time; even going so far as to try and start things with Simon again. But that which she had suspected (and tried to deny) that day could no longer be denied: she had fallen for John Sheppard. Just too bad the time for anything to come from it had passed.

"First you were frowning, then you were smiling and now you seem on the verge of tears," a voice suddenly came next to her. Teyla had finished with Torren and had come to join her friend. A worried Sitnalta sat down on the other side of her. It often seemed to her these two women came together at night and planned their strategy where she was concerned. Usually one of them was always nearby, looking out for her; resulting in a three-way friendship unlike any of them had known before.

"I was just thinking about The Accident," Elisabeth replied. They had all come to refer to that day two years ago as 'The Accident,' in capital letters. Teyla frowned.

"You do not still believe we had made the wrong decision?" she asked her friend.

"No. I was just thinking. Tonight seemed like a night for reflection."

This time Sitnalta frowned. "As long as I don't have to remind you what I think about your tendency for self-sacrifice," the woman grumbled. Weir smiled. Just after The Accident, Sitnalta had ranted to her about what she (Sitnata) considered an inappropriate and stupid tendency towards self-sacrifice in her (Elisabeth). As far as Sitnalta was concerned, Weir had more to offer in staying alive than looking for each and every opportunity to try and get herself killed. Halfway through the rant Elisabeth had thought Rodney was a perfect match for the blonde woman. By the end of the rant she had felt immense sympathy and respect for the moody scientist.

But Sitnalta had made her point. Elisabeth knew she was wont to self-sacrifice. She had tried to temper that impulse ever since.

"The second moon is nearly up," Teyla suddenly said, getting up. "It is late and these children need to get to bed," she explained. "It is time we got back to Atlantis."

"Yes, let's go back," Elisabeth agreed.

 


	9. Chapter 9

Somewhere around midnight Major Evan Lorne had passed out and had slid off his seat. He now lay contently under the table, snoring. But John Sheppard hasn't noticed.

Lorne had been seated to his left, so the Colonel had taken immense pleasure in spiting the Major. When Lorne had slid to the floor, John had decided to play his hand as well. It should be noted that at the time of the decision, John had been sober enough (as opposed to not  _as_  very drunk) to realise he was playing for both himself and Lorne. It was now about an hour later, and John still played both hands. The only trouble was that by now he had forgotten he was playing two different hands.

When it became John's turn, he grinned evilly as he spited the person next to him. For about seven rounds now he had prevented the next person from playing his queen and he felt great. Then came Lorne's turn. Without even thinking about it, John put down his hand, stood up and moved to the seat next to him. Then he picked up that hand and frowned. Some idiot has spited him again! For seven (or was that eight) rounds now he had been unable to play the queen! Who was the son of a Wraith who kept on doing it?

Then the turn passed onto one of the Becketts, and John calmly – but shakily – got up and went back to his own seat, almost giggling as he relished the idea of spiting the person next to him again!

#####

_Two years ago he had been busy with, what was effectively, ordering the death of a friend when a call had changed everything. Not long ago he had been aware she was dying, but there she had been, not only sitting up, but with all marks of the trauma gone. The most notable had been the moment when she had removed the bandage around her head and her hair had spilled down to her shoulders. Only hours ago it had been shaven off._

_In that moment he had thought that his heart had hardened towards Elisabeth Weir; that though he would mourn for her later, the woman he had known had gone. He had been wrong._

_Only hours later he, Ronon and Rodney had come down that hallway in the Replicator city and had seen her shaking with the effort to hold Oberoth and the rest of the Replicators away from them. And then she had ordered them to leave her._

_And they had turned around and left._

_That should have been the end of it, he was sure. But they had not counted on Sitnalta. Before they had taken two steps an energy wave had passed over them and he had known it was somehow the shield that was back up and useful. He – and the other two – had instantly spun around; just in time to see the Replicators crashing to the floor in a heap of silver nanites. And Elisabeth, seemingly slowly, toppling to the ground._

_He had run back and caught her just as she would have hit the floor. Vaguely he heard Sitnalta's voice in his ear, but he ignored her._

" _We need to go, now!" Rodney unnecessarily yelled. He was already inching along, back the way they had come. So John had picked up Weir and run after him, leaving Ronon to clear the way of any Replicators that adapted and made it through the shield. Earlier he hadn't had the time to consider the implications of losing his friend. Now that realisation hit him with full force._

_When they had entered the puddle jumper, Sitnalta had been waiting. He had placed Elisabeth on the bench, unwilling to leave her side. In record time the shuttle had soared to the sky. It had not even occurred to them that Sitnalta would be able to fly the damn thing._

_Back on Atlantis he had realised that, though he had brought back Elisabeth's body, she was again in the same state as earlier. Yes, the bruises were still gone, but the nanites had done more than heal her wounds: some of them had taken over much of her body's functions. Again she was dying. But this time he would rather let her die than have her live with those things crawling inside her._

" _Don't you dare touch those machines!" he ordered as he left her with Beckett and Keller._

" _Aye!" Carson had called as John had disappeared round a corner, already on his way to another crisis._

_A few hours later the crisis had been averted. So he had taken the time to go to the infirmary and see how Elisabeth was doing. Yet even as he had entered the infirmary he had known something was wrong. A worried Carson had tried to stop him as he had marched into the room where Elisabeth had been held only hours ago. And there she was: lying on her back with Sitnalta by her side, busy on her tablet._

_He had never been so angry in his life. He had actually walked up to Sitnalta and pushed her out of the way, ripping at the cables connecting the tablet to Elisabeth._

" _What are you doing!" he had demanded._

" _Just calm down," Carson said, trailing Jennifer Keller in his wake. "I know you didn't want..."_

" _You're damn right I didn't want this!" he had interrupted the doctor. "In fact, I had explicitly forbidden it!"_

" _Aye, that you did," Carson once more tried. But by now Sitnalta had picked herself up off the ground (he had pushed her hard enough that she had fallen to the ground), and she was glaring at him._

" _What do you think you are doing?" she demanded through clenched teeth._

" _Stopping you from doing this to Elisabeth!" he yelled at her._

" _Doing what? Saving her?" Sitnalta shot back._

" _Turning her into one of them!"_

_She shoved at him, retaking her place next to the bed. "I am not turning her into a Replicator. I have adjusted the nanites," she said, obviously trying to stay calm._

" _Aye, that she has," Carson said._

" _I'll talk to you later," John growled at the doctors. He turned on Sitnalta. "Either you stop this at once, or I will."_

" _No, I won't!" she yelled, her patience snapping. A part of him became aware of the fact that Elisabeth had moved, but he ignored her._

" _Activate the kill-switch or I will order Lorne to bring me the EMP-generator."_

" _You arrogant, selfish bastard!" Sitnalta yelled. "I saved her! And she wil not harm your precious city!" She took a deep breath. "Bloody hell, do you honestly believe I will do something to endanger Atlantis?" she continued. By now Elisabeth was sitting up, but he and Sitnalta ignored her. Carson and Keller seemed to be tending to her, though._

" _And what if those things activate themselves again? Do you think Elisabeth would want that?" He was screaming, as well. Somehow it must have transmitted to Ronon, for the big Satedan walked in just then, ready to fight._

" _They won't! You do remember who I am, don't you?" Sitnalta yelled._

" _Yes," he shot back. "You're a spoilt little brat whom nobody invited!" A part of him wondered when the conversation had gotten so absurd._

" _Damn you," she suddenly said in that soft, dangerous voice women often used. Then she turned and walked away. As she reached the door she turned around and glared at him. "I am sure Carson had explained everything to her by now. So why don't you ask Elisabeth how_ she _feels about it."_

_Then she disappeared. He should have gone to Elisabeth then, but just as he had turned around he had seen Ronon grinning at him, holstering his gun. So instead of doing the right thing, he, too, had walked out of the infirmary._

#####

So that was where John stood with Elisabeth. Had Heightmeyer still been around, she probably would have told him:

One: he still suffered from guilt over abandoning Elisabeth in the Replicator city.

Check.

Two: he had unresolved feelings about whether they had done the right thing.

Check.

Three: he had unresolved feelings about whether it really was Elisabeth and whether they could trust her.

Check.

Four: he had unresolved feelings towards her. That was why he acted like a jerk towards her.

Check. In fact, all of that was true. And he knew it. And in the two years since, they even had frequent contact with the Replicators, but never had Elisabeth put them in any danger. Sitnalta had been as good as her word.

Which brought him to the last part of his problem, the part which perhaps a psychiatrist would have missed. He had thought about what Sitnalta had said, and he had come to the conclusion that he was indeed an arrogant, selfish bastard. He had wanted everything to be the way it had been before, but it could never have been. And while everyone had adjusted, he had stayed locked in his anger and self-loathing. Well, just a little bit of loathing.

Which reminded him: who was the damn idiot who kept on spiting him? He's never going to get to play that damn queen!

 


	10. Chapter 10

On the planet it was only around nine in the evening, but according to Atlantis-time, it was nearly two in the morning. Fortunately the six women on the Athosian planet had made sure they didn't have an early-morning shift. For them morning would start at around nine, giving them enough time to catch up on their sleep.

So it was a relatively tired, but happy group that dialled the stargate. The Athosian children yelled their greetings to different members of the expedition they missed: John, Ronon, Radek... Then the connection was made and the entire clearing lit up with pale blue light. The kids ran around the gate and Laura had to catch one little critter just before he went inside the event horison. Having had the kids living on Atlantis for a while had ensured they did not fear the stargate anymore. To them it was just an exciting ride in either direction.

"Goodbye, Talen," Teyla greeted one kid. "Be good."

"I'm always good!" the child laughed before running off after a friend. Then it was time for the women – and Torren – to go home.

As it always was, the journey home seemed both to last forever and no time at all. From the equipment they were aware the journey took several seconds, but time had little meaning inside the wormhole.

And then they stepped out the other side, almost as if just taking one step in the legendary seven-mile boots. Except the distance was easier calculated in light-years than in miles, though.

Of course the sight that greeted them on Atlantis was not exactly what they had expected. Well, it was true the gate-room and control-room was ordinary enough. But they soon noticed the closed doors of the conference room. Those doos usually stood open this time of night, in case of emergency. And then they heard the unmistakable sound of Ronon's gun.

"What the..." Elisabeth began, already running. Cadman and Teldy was next to her, as well as Sitnalta. Teyla only took a single moment to hand Torren – who instantly began to cry – to Jennifer.

As the doors opened, the women realised they had been needlessly worried. Though in trouble, the men were not under attack by either aliens, alien monsters, alien bugs or even alien illnesses. And the trouble they were in had not reached them up until the moment the women had stepped through the doors.

On one side of the table sat a singing trio – that would explain the eerie noise the women had heard. The two Becketts and Radek were singing – and not even the same song, it seemed. Behind them were numerous scorch marks as Ronon, who sat opposite them, had been shooting at the singing trio. To judge by the marks, though, Ronon's weapon had not been set to 'stun' the whole time. On the end between the two parties sat Rodney, grumbling.

"What language is he speaking?" Sitnalta asked.

"I am not sure," Teyla answered. But most of the rest of the women grinned.

"My dear," Anne Teldy replied, holstering her weapon, "the moment he is not in trouble anymore, have him speak that to you. Any man who can speak French shouldn't hide that fact from the world."

"French?" Sitnalta asked again.

"I'll explain later," Elisabeth promised. Then she frowned. On the other end of the table sat John, looking happy. Then he dumped his cards in front of him, got up and sat down on the seat next to him. Ronon dealt two cards, causing John to frown.

"Doctor Weir, why is Colonel Sheppard playing two sets of cards?" Teyla asked. She only reverted to that formal mode of address when she was really worried – or on duty, of course.

"I am not sure," Elisabeth answered.

Then they heard a snore. The six of them bent down, looking beneath the table. There lay Evan Lorne, snoring peacefully.

"Ladies, I think it is time to get these men to bed," Jennifer said, handing the now-quiet Torren back to his mom. Then she marched up to one of the Becketts, tapped him on the shoulder and frowned, her hands on her hips.

"Oh, hey, love!" the Beckett greeted her, saluting her with a shot of liquor. "We were just playing...umm," he frowned. He looked at the other Beckett. "Carson, what were we playing again?"

Carson grinned at Duncan. "Danny boy?" he wondered. Then he spotted Laura Cadman. "Oh, dear."

Silently the two Becketts got up in unison, causing Radek Zelenka to fall straight back off his seat. "One of these days I'm going to learn Czech," Anne grumbled as she went over to her fallen lover. "Then I can scream at him in his own damn language!"

Jennifer looked back just as she was leaving the room and grinned. "You're going to have to sober him up first!" Which was true: Radek was still singing, apparently unaware he had just landed on the floor.

Anne grimaced. "Can you give me a hand?" she asked Elisabeth.

"Sure," she replied. Fortunately both women were strong, and they easily lifted him back on his seat. Anne slightly slapped him and his eyes finally focussed. He seemed incredibly pleased to see Anne, but he still spoke Czech, so it was just a guess. Anne frowned and Radek suddenly sobered enough to realise the trouble he was in.

"Ah, sorry," he managed in English.

Meanwhile Teyla had gone to Ronon, who was sulking. He was telling her that she should go away. She put on her cool leader's-face and firmly told the huge man:

"Well, you can't stay here the entire night, now can you?"

"I can try," he replied. But even as he said it, he got up and meekly followed in Teyla's wake.

Which left John to Elisabeth. She went to him and sat down in one of his seats.

"I trust you enjoyed yourself," she began. He turned his head sideways and frowned.

"Not particularly, no," he replied. "Some idiot keeps on spiting me!"

"I see," she said, not seeing at all.

"You know what," he suddenly asked. "I am a selfish, arrogant bastard!" he pronounced. But something was wrong. "Or was that an arrogant, selfish bastard? I don't really remember."

"I'm sure it'll work itself out," she said.

"No," he corrected her. "I've been an arrogant, selfish bastard towards  _you_."

This took her by surprise. But he was drunk and she knew drunken-talk was only that: drunken-talk. She patted his hand. "I appreciate that. But perhaps now is a good time to get you to bed." She pulled at his hand and meekly he followed her out of the room. The night for revelry and revelations had ended.

And beneath the table a single, happy snore was heard only by the empty room.


	11. Chapter 11

Morning dawned clear and bright on their new planet. Or at least it did for the women. Rodney woke to the smell of coffee and the searing pain of a hang-over. As he finally managed to open his eyes to the blinding light of day, he saw Sitnalta flitting about in the room, doing those early-morning female-things that seemed so important. In her one hand she had a steaming cup of coffee. And she was humming.

"Could you please be – not so loud?" he whispered. His jaw ached from the effort of talking. "And give me some coffee!"

Obviously she had not heard him, for she smiled brightly at him as she noticed he was awake.

"Hey, you're awake!" she stated the obvious in a sweet voice. He felt as if his head would explode at the sound of it. "Well, I'm off," she continued. She picked up her coat and went to the door. Just as she reached it, she turned back and smiled at him. "Oh, the coffee is finished. You'll have to get yours in the mess-hall." And she flipped her hair at him as she turned and left. Right there and then he promised himself he would never touch anything Radek distilled ever again!

As he left the room half an hour later, he found a grumbling John passing his room. He was wearing dark glasses, and Rodney wondered why he hadn't thought of that.

"I have no idea how I got to my room last night," the other man admitted.

"Yeah, me neither," the scientist agreed. In revered silence the two of them went to the mess-hall, craving coffee and breakfast.

At one table – in a dark corner – they found Ronon, Radek and one of the Becketts. The three of them looked the way John and Rodney felt.

"If you ever distil anything ever again, I will kill you," Ronon was threatening Radek as the two friends joined them. Radek only sat back in his chair and folded his arms.

"Well, I'm sorry," he sneered before adding something obviously snide in Czech. Immediately Ronon pulled out his gun and pointed it at the owl-eyed man.

"If you speak one more word in that language..."

"Yeah, you will kill me," Radek finished the sentence.

Just then Beckett – it turned out to be Carson – sat down at the table, handing out little white pills. "Aspirin," he explained. Gratefully they each took a couple and downed it with dark, bitter coffee.

After a while John looked up. "Has anyone seen Lorne?" he suddenly wondered. The six of them looked at one another, then got up together and ran to the conference room. But they were too late. A frowning Woolsey stood with arms crossed, glaring at them. A befuddled Lorne was crawling out from underneath the big table.

"Would anyone care to explain?" Woolsey demanded.

"Well, we had a little get-together last night," Rodney began, waving his hand in the air.

John nodded. "Yeah, just a little get-together," he said with a negligent wave of his hand.

"We played cards," Duncan added to the pot.

"Aye, nothing dangerous," Carson said. Ronon snickered.

"Except for the moonshine," he snickered, giving everything away. Rodney glared at him.

"Oh, do give it away, won't you!" he complained. But Ronon only grinned.

"Yeah, just a little moonshine," John explained. Then he grinned as well. But the effort made his head ache, so he stopped.

"I would appreciate it if you confined your drinking to your private quarters," Woolsey began. "And I would like to talk to the person responsible for the moonshine," he added in a voice load enough to make their heads pound. "Besides, all of you are late for your shifts!" Then he majestically turned around and went to sit at his seat at the big table. "And go clean him up," he said as he gestured towards Lorne. The next thing they knew the doors slammed shut in their faces, leaving them stranded in the control room.

It was a giggle that gave it away. As they turned around they found Anne, Laura, Sitnalta and Jennifer giggling. A little distance away Elisabeth and Teyla stood, supposedly in conversation but obviously enjoying the moment.

"You planned this," John accused, indicating the scene with a finger while squinting in the general direction of the women.

"No, not really," Anne smiled. "But serendipity seemed to be on our side this morning."

"Ha-ha," Rodney mocked them. But the act of shaking his head made it pound, so he stopped. Grumbling he marched away to his lab, Radek following. Ronon grabbed Lorne and dragged him away, probably to hose him down somewhere. The rest of the men soon dissipated, as well.

As the last man left, the doors to the conference room opened and Woolsey came out, grinning. "You think that worked?" he asked the women.

Teyla smiled serenely. "I believe it would be a while before they do something like that again," she answered before she, Anne, Laura and Jennifer left for their various tasks. Sitnalta and Elisabeth exchanged a few more words before the latter left, as well.

#####

The sun had already set over the city when John got the call from the control room. Someone was attempting to dial in. As he entered the control-room, Amelia was checking her lap-top a final time. "Incoming wormhole," she informed him. "Signal is coming in now." A worried Woolsey and Elisabeth stood to one side. A single screen showed the ugly face of Todd.

"Todd?" John asked.

"No doubt you are surprised to see me, John Sheppard," the Wraith opened the conversation. The rest of the conversation was even more disturbing: the Wraith had built a Super Hive ship.

While talking to the Wraith, John idly thought that perhaps last night had been a bad night for drinking, after all...

**The End**


End file.
